It’s Friday, January 9, and that means the first full week of 2015 is coming to a close. And if you’re still married, I’d like to take a moment to offer my congratulations!
Why? Because traditionally, the first full week of the New Year is the busiest for family attorneys. In fact, the first Monday of the year, known as “Divorce Monday” or “Black Monday,” is the single busiest day for calls regarding divorce. I actually read this week that divorce filings jump by a third in January.
Why is January so busy for divorce attorneys? Well, as I’m sure you can attest, the holidays can be stressful, but they also provide a time to reflect. Some couples might realize that this was their last holiday get-together with extended family or the children, and their reason to stay together has ended. Other couples may view the New Year as the best time to start over, and feel that they can give themselves the best opportunity for a better life by leaving their spouse.
Whatever their reasons are, in my opinion, divorce is an absolute last resort and should only arise when all other options have been exhausted.
Four Tips to Save and Improve Your Marriage
If you happen to be struggling in your marriage as we start the New Year, here are some ways you can try to improve it:
Marriage is a close partnership and communication is the foundation. If you’re unhappy with certain aspects of your relationship, make sure your spouse knows. Tell them in a calm, conversational way that encourages two-way communication. It’s also imperative that you really listen to their concerns. The purpose of communication and arguments is not to determine winners and losers, but to find solutions.
Abandon Your Ego
Being in love with somebody is about abandoning your ego and allowing yourself to be vulnerable. This means you should show them your true self, and vice versa. When both parties are totally exposed, it makes communication and finding solutions much easier. The letting go of egos promotes growth and abandons personal protection.
Embrace Each Other’s Differences
As important as it is for couples to spend time together, it’s just as important to spend time apart. Having respect for your partner’s time and interests helps to make them feel accepted and comforted in a relationship. A marriage is about two people co-existing, not dictating terms.
Appreciate Your Spouse
It’s very easy to take the people you see every day for granted. Saying little things like “thank you” or “I love you” shows that you respect and appreciate your partner. Making your spouse feel special goes a long way towards boosting your happiness as a couple. When both parties feel loved, respected, and appreciated, it creates a much happier environment that encourages openness and conversation.
Source for Today’s Article:
Fottrell, Q., “Why January is a popular month to file for divorce,” MarketWatch, January 6, 2015; http://www.marketwatch.com/story/divorce-filings-jump-by-one-third-in-january-2015-01-05.